Hurts.But I'm Maintaining. 2010

Well here we are finally in Gotham City, the place that I've always wanted to be. However the things that you acquire come with a price. Like when u gain something I've noticed you must also lose something. And can I say I've lost a lot, a lot more than I really expected. The New York dream is a bittersweet one at the moment. I've learned that I can't express myself clearly on the popular social networks that many of us have become victim too. Without being criticized or hurting someone's feelings.

Let's start with friends: Damnit I've lost some great ones I must say, some very inspirational ones that even though we no longer talk, I still highly love.

Love: Sucks and Im honestly done with it, it doesn't work well with me no matter how hard I try. It makes me ill and paranoids, those that I once dealt with seem like strangers although we are in different boroughs. Most recently getting involved and to become highly hurt AGAIN..DAMN...It's like an exctasy high, when it's HIGH it feels so RIGHT and GOOD. But then when it's over it's over and the low is LOOOOOOWWWW and it hurts so much. Relationships I've figured don't work because I think I don't express myself when Im Jealous, or Hurt, however I do express when Im in love and when you express just one. I guess it can come off as sleazy or lazy.

Work: Work has been a hassle even though I am working, Im still at a point were Im not happy at all and TODAY as of 5-23-10 Im making those changes multitasking as I update my long over due "blog".

Living: Being in Philadelphia for so long took me out of the hype of being in "The City". I know that if I wasn't in Philly for as long as I was, I would have been one of those wonderers that walk around aimlessly not knowing what to do next, just being caught up in the city living.

Creativity: My creative levels are through the roof. I got up with another awesome film director who genre is mine (horror) and I've been on it people or person or just me whoever might read this. I'm stepping into my own and not around the negative that was really bringing me down...peep the old post to know what Im talking about.

I've stopped smoking weed, I don't drink and I've gotten back to my old self again. The way I used to be before leaving home on July 5th 2001 to never return again. I no longer have to say "What did I do before I was smoking, for fun or just plain ole creativity".